Number 7

Grabbing a months old issue of Real Simple magazine on my way out the door to an appointment (one of the many “rules to live by as a Navy spouse” if you have an appointment and it involves the military in any way shape or form always, always bring something to do) I was happy for once to have an legitimate reason for reading a magazine. I buy them from time to time but never seem to get around to reading them for some reason. This time however I had time to get through the entire issue.

I love Real Simple - the layout and design appeal to my design training at RISD – it’s simple and clean. The articles appeal to my ADD – long enough to give me the information I want, short enough to keep my attention. And the photography is lovely. But today, my eye caught the reason I had originally picked up the magazine months ago (January issue) – “9 secrets to staying motivated this year” was the article that intrigued me (page 124). However, before I could get that far (and stay motivated that long? I know there’s an irony in there somewhere) a snippet on “The Simple List” page (10) made me stop right in my tracks. According to this one paragraph “the maximum number of tasks that should be on a daily to-do list to avoid mental overflow” is seven. This is from Jacqueline Leo’s book “7: The Number for Happiness, Love and Success.”

7? Really? That’s mind opening for me. I live by a to-do list – it’s the only way I’ve found that I can stay on task during the day … and sometimes even that doesn’t work. There have been times, during our moves that I have had 14-day countdown to-do lists, each day taped to every kitchen cabinet door (many times doubled up because only once have I had a kitchen that large). And they’ve had a lot more than 7 items – believe me. With our last move not only did I have a list on every kitchen cabinet door I also had cross-referenced to-do lists taped to every door jam as you entered a room, so I would know what I had to have finished in the room before it was ready for our renters. So perhaps I was a little obsessive-compulsive, but it helped me stay on task and I loved the feeling of accomplishment as I gradually crossed items off the lists. I had A LOT going on – trying to get a family overseas and husband halfway around the world. I was petrified that I would forget something important (like the kids passports or the dogs paperwork or maybe the kids and the dog) and the lists helped me maintain some illusion that I was in control.

But 7? I thought I was doing well, when recently I’d decided that I had to cut my daily to-do down to 10 – and was even more tickled when I snagged some lined post-its that had 10 lines on it (o.k. so it doesn’t take much to make me happy … Jeff is soooooo lucky, he just has no idea). But I thought to myself, Ms. Leo may have a point – rare is the day I can get all things crossed off my list, they just roll over to the next day and sometimes they start to accumulate and it becomes more overwhelming than helpful. Mental Overflow – I like that and I can totally relate. So today, is the first day that the powerful no. 7 has become my friend, and the first thing on my list? Ordering Leo’s book from Amazon. Inspiring.

For more info you can go to the authors website: http://www.jackieleo.com/2009/11/paying-attention-to-best-of-life.html

Let them eat cake

Years ago ... but not so long ago that the kids can't remember, I attempted to make Jeff a birthday cake. The kids still bring up that fiasco "remember the time you made Dad a 'pancake' cake for his birthday?" - for what ever reason the cake did not rise and the two cake rounds did in fact look like huge pancakes. Followed closely after this was Wrenn's 2nd birthday where I tried to make her a cake for her 2nd birthday party ... Jeff ran out an hour before the party to GW Marketplace in Norfolk and bought a ready made cake, the home made version did not pass muster ... pretty sad when you think about that, what cake can't pass for a bunch of 2 year olds? I think it was shortly after these 2 failed attempts that I suggested to him that perhaps I needed some professional help - Wine and Cake in Norfolk was offering cake decorating classes (and surely I would learn how to make a cake at the same time?). He was all for me signing up for the class. I coerced my good friend Shawn and we were off and running to Cake Decorating 101. I graduated - even have a certificate to prove that I can in fact decorate a cake and even went on to take the second class (tiers - as in wedding cake tiers) and a speciality class in rolled Fondant.

It's been 10 years since that time and I realized today that my stint of being the resident cake decorator is now on the down side. Mitchell and Walker turned 15 today and I will only have 3 more years of making them their requested cakes before they bolt for bigger and better venues. It is a labor of love for me - I would never make any money as a cake decorator because I am painfully slow, but it does give me a lot of joy to create something that looks fun and at the same time is good to eat (maybe just a wee bit too good). I've always made the boys their own cake - I mean on the one day of the year that's supposed to be your special day would you really want to share your cake with someone else, even if that person had been with you in-utero?

This year I had to regroup, as my favorite shop in Norfolk for cake decorating supplies (including awesome already made frosting sold by the 5 lb or 10 lb containers) is half a world away. Cool non-pariels and anything and everything you can think of to put on the cake was no longer only a 15 minute drive from my house. And the boys are older, not like they're going to give me much help ... "this year I want a Harry Potter theme" - I was on my own. So I scoured the commissary looking for ideas and a few did jump out at me - the kids love these Japanese mushroom cookies and the Pocky's (chocolate covered pretzel-like sticks) and I could buy fruit roll ups and surely come up with something to do with them.

I set off for home and the day long extravaganza in my kitchen (can I whine again on how much I miss my convection oven? ... electric ovens just don't cut it once you've experienced convection). Never sure where my creations will lead I just jump in and hope something will come to me. The kids never complain (well one year Wrenn did swipe away half of my carefully laid out lettering because she said it looked weird, I personally thought it looked typographically artistic but graduating from RISD what else would I think? ... I believe I poured myself are REALLY LARGE glass of wine at that point) so I guess I've had more hits than misses.

So this time around, as I finished up I hoped the boys would be pleased ... mushrooms, Pockys, fruit roll ups - who would have thought? Necessity is yet again the mother of invention. Inspiring.

Cookies

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

I know that there are some things I’m good at as a mom but showering our kids with baked goods is not one of them. Once, a dear friend of ours showed up at our door with a cake. The reaction in our house was “did someone have a birthday?” – to which Shawn I think was forever amused. Major holidays we have homemade dessert (that job thankfully the boys have taken over), birthdays I make everyone their requested cakes. But aside from that, the only other times our children get baked goods by mom, would be when we have guests for dinner or I’m hosting bookgroup.

Except … 5 times a year I make homemade chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, for the first day of school and for report card days. You would think I’m serving up some sort of decadent dessert the way our kids react. And Lord help me if I forget. With everything online here, the end of the marking period has trumped “report card day.” Mitchell and Walker’s report cards came in the mail, more than a week after the grades were up on GradeSpeed. A bit anti-climatic. This has led to confusion on my part – as I try to keep up with technology, which day is now supposed to be the day I make the cookies? The day the grades are posted? The day the report cards come in the mail? Well after the last marking period and one child’s report card not arriving until several days after the other two, I realized we needed to revamp the rules – the cookies will appear at the end of the marking period. With new guidelines established, the cookies were made (and devoured) quickly last week. With the aroma still lingering in the air but the plates all empty, I heard a sigh with the comment, “I guess we’ll have to wait another 10 weeks until this marking period ends before we can have these again.”

Which made me smile. Sometimes too much of a good thing dilutes the importance. One of the thought provoking ideas put forth in Authentic Happiness is pacing – pace what you love so that you can savor it while it lasts. I realized that without knowing it at the time, when I started this tradition 10 years ago, this is exactly what I’d done – maybe it was my mommy instinct that pulled through and realized less really can be more. Inspiring.

Gifts

Sitting on my lounge chair, flipping over yet another Hiragana flashcard, wondering what makes my brain so darn lousy at rote memorization – a beautiful flower drops in my lap. It was the Tropical Plumeria Flower, in some cultures it is a symbol of life, and the sign of Spring.

Earlier that morning, Wrenn and I were walking the grounds of the resort and commented on the heady fragrance that kept enticing our noses and like the sphinx moths that are drawn to the smell of the plumeria flower, we kept searching. We finally realized the creamy white flowers hanging above us and the carpet of fallen blossoms at our feet were the source. The fragrance is lovely, something you wish you could just bury yourself in. After enjoying the moment, we both moved on … Wrenn to her selected activity of the moment (rock climbing?, windsurfing?, going down the slide for the 100^th time?) and I to my station under the huge umbrella with my Japanese flashcards in hand.

Hours later a gift drops in my lap. A simple gift, free even, but the gesture from my daughter brought me back to the moment. Forget the Hiragana she seemed to be saying, enjoy the beauty that surrounds you. Wrenn’s simple act of kindness, by picking up a fallen flower and giving it to me “because I knew you liked the way it smelled” was a moment I’ll treasure from our vacation. And my daughter reminded me that even small acts of kindness can bring huge amounts of joy. Inspiring.

Sabbatical

Sabbatical - A break or change from a normal routine (Miriam Webster Online Dictionary)

Rest, repose, leave, vacation, liberty, holiday … when I was working as a full time designer one of my art directors commented she had never seen a designer explore words from the dictionary to generate ideas. I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not – but it worked for me. I love words and when I run across a well crafted sentence with perfectly selected words, I am in awe and envious at the same time.

So my old habit resurfaced in writing this entry. It has been just over 2 weeks since my last entry – not exactly staying on that “entry a day” track I’d hoped. And with gentle nudging from my mom (it appears no matter how old you are your mom can still wield some power with only a comment), and a quiet house I’ve sat down once more to continue this blogging journey.

The break from our normal routine was a good thing. We headed to Saipan for part of Spring Break and the time away from our daily grind was good my soul. We enjoyed fabulous weather, way too much good food, beautiful scenery and good times in the water. The down side is that vacation breaks the rhythm of our daily lives and it always seems like it takes me at least a couple of weeks before I can get back in the groove. But I think I’m finally there – I’ve picked up the book I was reading while in Saipan and leafed through my notes. It’s called Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman and I ordered it after was mentioned in A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers will Rule the Future by Daniel Pink. Just in case my friends and family (the 2 that actually read this blog!) start to worry – no I’m not depressed. Yes, I’m happy here in Japan. But I was curious, curious why some people no matter what seem to always be happy, while others more like me have good days and bad. Many more good thankfully, but I wondered how can you make the bad days good? What’s the secret to happiness?

Authentic Happiness has been thought provoking. According to the author there are four kinds of savoring (that directly relates to your levels of happiness) and I realized while reading the descriptions that perhaps that’s why vacations can be so good for the soul – if you let them, all four areas are touched on during a sabbatical - basking, thanksgiving, marveling and luxuriating. So while I was sitting out on the balcony in the wee morning hours, with my hot cup of coffee, while the rest of my family (and it appeared the resort) slept – I enjoyed my read and realized yet again, that there’s much around us that’s inspiring. Sometimes it’s a book that’s been sitting on your bedside table for months, hoping to get a chance to read, and at the last minute you throw it in your carry on bag – only to realize later that it may have just rocked your world and made you think about things in a whole new light. Now that’s inspiring.

I Can See Mt. Fuji From My Window!

The last couple of days have been somewhat emotional for me, as we've been reminded once more that the domino effect of who goes where this year will impact where we go when Jeff rotates in December of 2011. I am not ready to step on this new roller coaster ride so far out. I am not ready to wrap my head around the concept that we will not get to return to our home and our friends as we'd all hoped. Of course I am at this point a fairly seasoned military spouse, I know that a whole lot can happen in the next 18 months. I also know for survival you have to at some point let the roller coaster pass you by and refuse to get on and to instead take to heart the expression we were reacquainted with in Thailand, "Que, Sera, Sera" - Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see ... but it's oh, so, hard.

Yesterday was a nasty day. It rained, the wind blew in off of the bay making the windows in the house shake. It did not help my mood. But today, ahhh - it's beautiful. A glorious Spring day, with crystal clear skies. Some days if you're lucky, you can catch a glimpse of Mt. Fuji from certain vantage points on base. But this morning Walker and Wrenn noticed something new ... maybe yesterday's storm blew away any haze, maybe this morning we all needed a reminder of why we're here but as I was downstairs taking care of some early morning household chores I heard from upstairs the call of "I can see Mt. Fuji from my window!" and another "I can see it too!" - we all rushed to catch a glimpse of Fuji-san. And there it was in all it's glory, with snow still on it - it's been there all along, for the last 8 months and yet for whatever reason, none of us had noticed that we could see it from the upstairs windows of our home.

As the house quieted down, once everyone departed for school, I took out my camera and headed back upstairs to capture Mt. Fuji. It made me realize that sometimes all we need is to look out our own windows to see the world in a different way. It reminded me that I need to stay in the moment, take in all that's around me and as for the future, as challenging as it is for me, I will have to let go and know that ... whatever will be, will be. Inspiring.

Bridges

For the last seven months I have had the privilege of being in a group known as JAW, Japanese American Wives group. Twice a month, roughly 20 American Navy Spouses and 20 Japanese Navy Spouses get together to exchange cultures and conversation - and of course eat. It has been a very rewarding experience for me. I've made some Japanese friends, that thankfully are fluent in English. I've seen some wonderful places, most particularly the beautiful grounds of the Shomyoji Temple, a Pure Land style garden, in the Kanazawa-Bunco area south of Yokohama that our group visited on Tuesday.

We were so lucky - Monday it poured here, it was nasty weather. Today it has rained off and on and the wind has been wicked coming off of Tokyo Bay. But yesterday, we had a glorious day - it was warm, so warm that most of us were shedding the coats and jackets, if not sweaters we had all worn. It was beautiful, with the sun shining welcoming us to this lovely oasis in southern Yokohama. And the weather gave us the opportunity to reach out and enjoy each others company. The Japanese ladies had arranged for us to play several lawn games on the grounds of the temple - we were divided up into teams and competed against each other. It was very fun. And you haven't seen enthusiasm until you've seen Japanese ladies play games - they love to compete, and even more they love to win. On the way out of the grounds to our traditional Japanese style lunch, awaiting us in a local restaurant, we had time to take photos and enjoy the cherry blossoms. The Shomyoji Temple is known in particular for its beautiful Vermillion Bridge - and I couldn't help but think as I took photo after photo that it's a wonderful symbol for my experience with the JAW ladies. I've had a chance to bridge cultures and while I hope I've somehow enriched some of the Japanese ladies lives with my contribution, I think it pales in comparison with what I've received. They've shared their country and their culture and they've inspired me to learn more – like researching and finding out about just exactly what is a Pure Land style garden. For me, that's inspiring.

For more about Shomyoji Temple visit my blog http://clearykazoku.blogspot.com/