Believe

It's that crazy time of year again ... the holiday season is upon us. I love the Christmas season and dread it at the same time. Un-boxing decorations is like seeing old friends that you haven't run into in a long time. For me, many of our decorations mark a passage of time – Santa tree topper, purchased in Alameda, California a few days after Jeff had just come in off of a 7 month deployment and it was our first Christmas together. German creche - my parents brought back from a trip to Germany – I double/triple wrap it up each year, afraid with another move it will be reduced to pieces. The Snow Man that our family friend, Miss Judy, gave to our children and Wrenn declared with delight this year when I pulled it out "oh, I love that decoration – it's my favorite." The holiday songs have been playing while each day I try to carve out a tiny bit of time to purge/organize/tidy up so that this year will finally be the year that I can relax and enjoy the season. But there's that little voice in the back of my head that's my reality check ... she knows it's good goal but it may be a lofty goal.

Already the craziness has begun. On base if you don't purchase something when you see it, you can pretty much be sure it won't be there when you go back – like the Eggnog I went to go buy this week, they had tons of it before we left town, now the shelves are empty. We were out of town for Thanksgiving when the Christmas trees went on sale – no longer a family event, with Jeff out of town for a meeting and two teenage boys who looked aghast at me when I asked if they wanted to go help pick out the tree ... the task this year fell to Wrenn and I. I'm not too sure she was all that into it either, but I think she took pity on me and came along. As we stood there in the plaza area in front of the Navy Exchange and selected our tree from the reject pile (because if you don't get one Thanksgiving weekend you're basically looking at everyone else's rejects), Jingle Bell Rock came on the loud speakers and blasted out over the plaza, the mood picked up with the beat of the song. The smell of fresh cut pine trees in the air and suddenly it started to feel like the holiday season.

We picked up our tree, each taking an end and lugged it to our car and the dread of keeping up with the season, the stress of having the house "just so," the cookies made (that my kids want but my slow metabolizing body screams "just don't do it!"), the presents wrapped and the hope that maybe this year will be the year we finally send out holiday cards (after a 7 year hiatus don't hold your breath folks) started to evaporate. I started to believe, believe that it's not about the "keeping up" ... the season is more about being present, being aware that it's the little things that make the season special. The memories, the traditions – I doubt our children can tell us what they got for Christmas 2 years ago – but I know they can remember making Peppermint Bark or Oyster Crackers and delivering them to our neighbors. Now that's inspiring.

From now until Christmas I am taking photos of our holiday traditions and the ways we celebrate the season. It's my holiday countdown, my Advent Calendar of sorts, and oh yes – a good way for me to practice taking more photos. I hope you can check back in and be inspired.