Running Behind vs. Controlled Chaos

It seems I’m always running behind or at least I feel like I'm always running behind. I set goals – daily/weekly/monthly/annually – and the promise of achievement, the thrill of being able to cross something off my list, keeps me motivated. At the same time, there's a moment of despair at the end of the day when I look at my list and realize there's more left uncrossed than crossed. Last year I read an article about how one should never have more than 7 items on their “to do” list – I guess studies have shown that on average people cannot accomplish more than seven items in a day – but as much as I’ve tried, I cannot seem to keep the list to only seven. Maybe that’s because with five family members it appears that by default I’m the household manager, I’m making sure that not only are my seven items moving forward each day, so are the items of three kids and a husband. Realistically my “to-do” list should be 35 items, and with that realization I've concluded that beating myself up over not getting everything off my daily list by the end of the day is counter-productive. Juggling, I always feel like I’m juggling at least five different balls (one for each family member … maybe it should be six – does a dog count too?) all while standing on a balance board that’s rolling one way and then another. 

Last week was the end of the semester for our two teens. I am not sure I am cut out to be a teen mom, looking back I am starting to wonder why I thought twin toddlers and a newborn was so hard. I guess it’s what you’re in the middle of at the moment – and the moments around here last week were high stress. Projects, papers, exams … I wanted it to all end so we could go back to “normal” and I wasn’t even the one having to study! Every day though, there was one thing I was incredibly grateful for (aside from the obvious, like a healthy family) and that was that there was no thinking about what’s for dinner. The week my family needed good meals, needed to have table time to touch base, I was prepared. They weren’t all hits – more misses this past week, but I think what was the most important was that we were in the trenches together, dinner gave us a moment in a crazy, high stress week to check-in, touch base with each other. It wasn’t always pretty, don’t even get the notion that we were having Rockwellian scenes in the Cleary household, sometimes the banter flying across the table was down right nasty, for example the night I hadn’t even sat down yet and the bickering had already started. “Oh good” I commented, “I haven’t even had a moment to sit and you all are already at it.” But I guess what I should be thankful for is that they were at least interacting, not exactly in the way that would warm a mother’s heart but they were talking to each other, sort of. Even these moments are teachable moments – like calling someone out on what I call “spouting” … “you can’t just throw a reactionary comment out there, if you do you’d better be able to back up whatever you’re spouting.” So I’ll keep at this Menu thing, “making dinner” doesn’t even make my daily “to do” list, sadly I guess it’s like brushing my teeth – it’s something I have to do each day. But having the meals planned out has given me the opportunity to be more focused, more present, more on top of the controlled chaos that twoteensandatween seem to swirl up in our household. More time to listen, more time to be a family, even if it is for only 20 minutes before someone is off to the next activity and that gives me reason to be … inspired.

Week 4

Salmon Cakes with Lima Beans and Roasted Carrots – Three thumbs up!!!

Split Pea and Rice Soup – Moosewood – not so much a hit, but I have four stars next to it and I remember it being really good. Maybe the missing cardamon (the commissary here does not stock it) makes the difference.

Spinach artichoke risotto – this was a new recipe for us from the Simple Suppers cookbook, not so much a hit. Everyone ate it but not with gusto. Also had to sub in Orzo, no risotto at the commissary (well they have the packaged kind but that stuff’s nasty).

Garlic Broc with yellow noodles – Simple Suppers – again a new try for us. Unfort. The commissary doesn’t stock Tumeric and so no yellow noodles. It was a good meal but not fabulous.

Cucumber Tomato Salad with Marinated Feta Cheese* and Wheat Rolls – big three thumbs up!! (Saved the planned meal for another night).

*What do you do with eight (EIGHT!!) cucumbers and two blocks of feta cheese? My friend Kathy had a function at her house and let’s just say she must have cleared the commissary out of cucumbers and feta – she way over bought. So when Val and I stopped by her house last week she loaded us up with her overstock. “What am I going to do with all of this?” I muttered. Showing no mercy she quipped “you’ve got three kids, you’ll figure it out” as she pressed a loaded down bag into my hands. Remembering that at one point, a long time ago, my sister, mom and I had all made Marinated Feta Cheese I searched through my recipes until I found it. It was perfect with the cucumbers and tomatoes, served over two containers of the organic lettuce they sell here. My kids are big into salads, and we all pigged out that night on a salad dinner – it was casual and easy.

Marinated Feta Cheese

1 cup sun-dried tomatoes

4 cloves garlic

1 lb feta cheese

2 tsp of dried oregano

2 tsp dried thyme

1 tsp red pepper flakes

4 stems fresh parsley, chopped

4 cups olive oil

Place the sun-dried tomatoes in a bowl and cover with boiling water, let soften for about 20 minutes. Peel and halve the garlic cloves. Cut feta into small pieces. Drain tomatoes and return to bowl. Add garlic, cheese, oregano, thyme, pepper flakes and parsley. Cover with oil. Marinate for 2 days (I didn’t wait and by the empty salad bowl I don’t think anyone noticed) in the refrigerator. If using as a salad dressing I added ¼ cup of red wine vinegar to ½ cup of the marinade.